As part of our Protect Children Not Porn campaign, we believe it’s important to highlight the mental, physical, relational and emotional impacts underage exposure to porn has on the lives of real people. Below is a story submitted to Exodus Cry by Troy*:
Porn has literally stolen half my life.
So, around 12 years old, when I was getting more and more into the internet, I remember that some pop-up ads, which were astoundingly blatantly sexual, kept popping up. My interest was piqued and, a short while after, I got the guts to actually find a porn site.
I was baffled (as much as my young brain could be) at how much nudity there was. I began with the “usual” stuff (only girls) and then needed (and I mean NEEDED) harder stuff as I got older.
It wasn’t until later on, when I found Jesus (rather, He found me) and He saved me from it that I noticed how much it infected my mind and body, even my own soul.
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Back as a kid, when I started growing up, I began to isolate myself more and more, and nearly every thought was filled with something awful. I had moved on from only women, to women and men, to toys, and eventually even those were nothing; I had to have more. It reached a point where I would have 8 tabs open for 8 different videos just because one wasn’t enough.
Pretty soon I was all over the place, regardless of male or female: Orgies, sodomy, fake incest; I even looked at cartoons and comics.
I noticed I knew more names of porn stars than people I knew in real life. I had awful fantasies of my friends, and those same friends I drove away because I would rather be alone with those sexual thoughts than talk to anyone, even family.
It has honestly stolen half my life, and the worst part is that my parents never knew until I told them. I hid it so well that they never had a clue. If anything, I wish they had been a little more invasive. Ultimately it’s my own fault, unfortunately.
It reached a point where I would have 8 tabs open for 8 different videos just because one wasn’t enough.
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As of now, I have giant fears. Because of those terrible things, I fear looking at women in case I have a bad thought. Unless they meet the standards of porn, it seems I’m repulsed in a small way.
Young men should not have standards set in by a society of perverse sex, or any person for that matter. Everyone should learn that each individual is beautiful and worth loving.
*Names have been changed to protect the anonymity of the submitter.
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